With Jack dropped off, Maura headed back towards downtown to meet with Matt for coffee. Alone, driving, she let herself fall into sadness. She felt the lump in her throat.
She’d fought that temptation most of her life. Then a friend – it might have been Janet – passed on a second-hand suggestion, something she’d heard in a zen podcast or maybe read in a blog post:
“We’re programmed to fight the sadness,” she said. “That doesn’t work. You have to have the emotion, acknowledge it, let it live there in you, and swim in it. Then it flows through you, and you go on.
So Maura did. Her eyes moistened, but she still changed lanes and made her exit. She remembered her illusions, in college, her early dating, the romantic comedies and love stories, the dreams and fantasies. She’d never had the schoolgirl moments, not even in the beginning. Dating, fiancé, bride, honeymoon, she’d waited for passion that never came. She had passed forty without ever coming really alive, not even for a few minutes, with that kind of love. Would that never happen?
But she had Jack. There would have been no Jack without Donald. And then she had to find a parking space and go find Matt in Café Sienna.
Sprippets 